2014-08-24

Ep7 Spoiled!

I have the plot of Episode VII.  (I'm just kidding.  I don't.  Please don't sue.)

Spoilers ahead;  you were warned!  (Some real spoilers, but mostly I'm making this up.)

Okay, so we know Ford, Fisher, and Hamill are in it.
We know there is a slightly different X-Wing that looks all beat-up.
We know the Falcon is in it.
We know there will be stormtroopers with more futuristic-looking shiny helmets.
And, rumor has it the Mon Calamari play a role.

Last but not least, it's JJ of Lost and Trek 2009 at the helm.

I think the plot should be obvious at this point.  With beat-up X-Wings and shiny stormies, it is clear that the Rebellion continues.   And with JJ at the helm, there's probably time travel silliness . . . after all, there's already been some Force-related temporal interestingness from TCW and the Mortis trilogy, so the wall's been cracked, if not breached altogether.

So, what we're going to see in Episode VII is the original Star Wars universe in which the Mon Calamari were destroyed sometime between TCW and RotJ.  Without the Mon Calamari fleet serving as cannon fodder, Return of the Jedi would have been completely different… the Rebellion would have lost at Endor.

Luke, taunted by Vader and the Emperor and with hope lost, believing Leia dead, kills his father, possibly staying his hand at the Emperor's chair with more of the "make people live again" crap.   Alternately he offs him, too, intending to guide the Empire back to Republic principles.   But he is surrounded by evil, banal or otherwise, and with absolute power corrupting absolutely, one way or another the abyss stares back into him.

Meanwhile, Han and Leia escape and survive. The plot will obviously involve Han and Leia, decades after the "Endor Holocaust" (to coin a phrase) and still aboard a tramp freighter, desperately time-traveling to save the Mon Calamari and Leia's brother's soul.

The film will be entitled Star Wars: Episode VII:  The Voyage Home ... It's a Trap!

To be followed by Episode VIII:  The Wrath of The "Sahn" from Mortis.   Yes, it will be spelled that way, instead of "Son".

I'll let you know about Episode IX when my spycam in Chee's office sees something notable.

No, not that.

Pervs.

1 comment:

  1. The logical plot of episode 7 would be some Imperials causing problems because they for one reason or another do not except the recreated Republic's authority with a subplot of the old heros handing the reins to a younger generation.

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